2020

Self-Portrait: My Body is Made of Rice

Installation, mixed media (recycled plastic, textile and yarn)

Self-Portrait: My Body is Made of Rice was made during the lockdown period in Amsterdam. I took this time and space to re- examine my position in the larger ecological system from the urban jungle, and to re-think my relation with the Earth through the simple actions of everyday life in the city.

Restricted to my home space, with no restaurants or market open, the very survival of my physical body lies on the food source from the supermarket. I began to document what I eat everyday, in which shops have I purchased these products in the city and in which countries have these products been produced. It surprised me that my menu came across almost 3 continents every single day to arrive at my tiny apartment. Sometimes the origin can be very hidden. For coffee with a German brand, I have to spend half an hour on internet digging just to find out the beans were actually grown in Indonesia. Sometimes the origin does not make sense. In the Netherlands, a country whose most famous delicacy is mashed potato, why do I get potatoes from Israel in the supermarket where I know the Israeli government is invading the Gaza region to get control of more agricultural land? And what does it mean for me as an immigrant in this country to want to keep my tradition and root, while consuming products transported all the way from China?

At the end of the day, I also have to face the overwhelming amount of plastic packages left behind, after my lovely dinner made with love.  It is easy to throw them away, pretending they will be taken care of. It is hard to admit that we do not have an acceptable solution with the plastic trash. They can be removed from our sights in the Western countries, but they will end up on the shore of the Philippines, Malaysia or Antarctica. They would still be here after I died, and 200 years after that.

I took the moment to face them. I knit with the rice bag, I weave with the wrappings of sausage sandwich, I wrap my shopping receipt in the plastic that used to bring me bread and I stitch on these endless self-confrontations and reflections. 

The materiality is an honest self-portrait of myself but also reflects on many other urban dwellers about the way we live our lives.  I believe any possible change has to start with the acknowledgement first.